Learning to say NO!
#003 - Give yourself permission to say NO so you can say YES to the important and memorable things in life. In this episode, I share three tips on how you can say NO without ruining your life or your relationships.
“I don’t want to cut my expenses because I like my current lifestyle. I don’t want to say NO to my spouse, kids, friends, etc. What will they think of me?”
Saying no is one of the hardest words to say because of the repercussions it has. It sounds negative, restrictive, harsh, evil, etc. But you need to take a long look in the mirror and realize that you need to say no to get ahead and saying no to certain things does not have to be forever. The shame and guilt that comes with saying no probably stems from negative past experiences. Getting over that hump is hard, but the ones that truly love you will understand and support you.
When we first started out on our debt-free journey, I had a hard time saying “no” to my loved ones because I didn’t want them to think I was poor or not good enough. This is the lie that I told myself – “I will only be worthy if I have money and can lavishly spoil my loved ones with gifts”. Our son, Brandon, hardly ever asked for anything and when he did I caved in because I didn’t want him to miss out on what his friends had. I would buy expensive clothes for myself and my family members because I thought that’s what they wanted. But I love how Dave says, “Live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else”.
When I started to believe this and recite it over and over, it gave me hope that saying no to certain things would only be for a season and not forever. Instead of showering my loved ones with gifts, I found other ways to show them that I cared. Before we started this journey, we said yes to practically everything and anything. We went out to eat with friends all the time, went shopping like it was pay day every Friday, and didn’t think twice about an expensive purchase if we wanted it that badly. We didn’t think about the financial ramifications. We lived in the moment and enjoyed every moment of it.
When we started our debt-free journey, we realized that our lifestyle was not working for us anymore. We were severely out of control and we needed to learn to say no so that we weren’t spending more money than our budget allowed. It was not easy. It almost felt like we were breaking up with our friends because we could no longer afford to go to expensive restaurants or entertainment places like we used to. We felt embarrassed and made excuses as to why we couldn’t hang out anymore. We weren’t brave enough to be honest and tell our friends that we just didn’t have the money to do the things we used to do.
Listen in as I share three tips on how to overcome this.